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He presses the button and the pedestrian signal goes ‘beep-beep-beep-beep... ‘ “What’s that for?” asked one of the girls. “Oh that’s just to let the blind know that the lights have changed” said the bloke. “My God” she said shocked “in the States we don’t even let them drive...”A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer’s garden. “I’ll give you my two pennies for that tomato” said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.“No” said the farmer “I get a dime for a tomato like that one”.The small boy pointed to a smaller green one “Will you take two pennies for that one?” “Yes” replied the farmer “I’ll give you that one for two cents”. “OK” said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer’s hand “I’ll pick it up in about a week”.An old guy in a nursing home was wandering around the facility when he noticed his across-the-hall neighbour, Mrs. McGillicuddy, sitting in the lounge. He thought he’d shuffle up to her. Elisabeth, this does mean that you have to sign the contract like the rest of us and submit ultimately to my authority. It also means picking a spouse and at least one official paramour. There’s only one single man left here: Roger Stanfield. He has no blood ties to you. I suggest, nay I command, that you two get hitched. Then you can pick your first paramour, just as he already picked his, namely my wife Cassie. Roger, looks like you’re no longer the odd-man-out, doesn’t it?” I laid down the law and was pleased at Elisabeth’s response.“Are you kidding me? A dreamboat like Roger as my husband? Fucking take me as your bride, Roger, honey! As for submission, God, yes! It sounds so ... deliciously wild and wanton. As for the contract, of course, I’ll sign. As for my first paramour, well, is it okay to choose Dad, even though he can’t ... you know. I mean, I love sex with each of you, but the idea of a paramour that I get to peg a lot ... that’s a major turn-on. I don’t think that he has.
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